


His Army of Angels is One Man

by leonietjeeeee



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: (No one dies though), Anxiety Disorder, Bottom Harry, M/M, Panic Attacks, Road Trips, Smut, Strangers to Lovers, Suicide Attempt, Top Louis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-28
Updated: 2015-03-28
Packaged: 2018-03-20 02:44:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3633726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leonietjeeeee/pseuds/leonietjeeeee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry doesn't see any other way to go on. No one cares for him anyways, what is the point in staying? At least, thats what he is thinking.</p><p>Someone finds him sitting on the bridge, about to commit suicide, and stops him and takes him away from all his misery in more than one way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	His Army of Angels is One Man

**Author's Note:**

  * For [flowerchainharry](https://archiveofourown.org/users/flowerchainharry/gifts).



If it would be raining right now, the weather would be perfect. The colour of the sky couldn't be described in any other way as pitch black. Even the streetlights around the small bridge, which is right above the deepest point of the stream in this park. Just deep enough that if you'd fall of the bridge, you wouldn't have a chance of surviving, which is exactly what Harry wants. 

After all these years and hopeful thoughts of 'It might get better', Harry's had more than enough time to make up his mind and to decide that it wasn't worth it. Harry's all alone, no one would even miss him if he'd jump, which is the main reason why he's sitting on the cold, Iron bridge, with his legs swung to the side of the water. 

When Harry takes a look down towards the water, he doubts for a moment. The jump is bigger than he had originally thought, would that be a problem? Could that mean that maybe, maybe he won't die immediately?

Harry doesn't know what the time is, nor does he have a clue how long he has been thinking everything through. What Harry does know, is that he almost falls of the bridge as an accident when he hears footsteps coming closer towards him. 

Said stranger that was walking towards him, is the one that catches him before he literally falls off. Harry can't help but take a deep breath. He has to admit he was pretty terrified of taking his own life.

'My goodness! You must be freezing.' The stranger, who appears to be a man, says in a high-pitched voice, especially compared to Harry's own. It's true, he is freeing in his short, skin-tight, shorts and short-sleeved T-shirt.

Harry is too surprised by this man to move or speak. He's breathing heavily, but not out of fear for this man, but out of relief. Maybe he didn't want to die as badly as he had previously thought. 

To make it worse, Harry starts shivering and that doesn't go unnoticed by the stranger. 'Hey, I've got some blankets in my car and it has a heater.' The stranger suggests softly and Harry finds himself, to his own surprise, nodding. 

That doesn't make him come off the bridge immediately though. Something about this stranger is intruding him. Harry thinks it might be how he didn't even say a word about his position or ask what the hell he was doing.

With a little helping hand, Harry does get of the Iron bar. It's the first time he dared to look directly at the stranger. Only now does Harry notice how handsome this man actually is. He quickly shakes that thought out of his head though, not wanting any hopes for absolutely nothing.

Instead, he wordlessly follows the man who has a soft grip on his wrist. He tries to make small talk with Harry on the short trip to his car, but Harry doesn't reply to any of his questions. 

'Oh, I am Louis by the way. Louis Tomlinson.' He tells Harry once they have reached the car. 'Can I at least get your name or are you just going to steal my blankets?' Louis asks Harry with a playful smile on his face. 

Harry can't help but blush at the comment as he accepts the soft-looking blankets from Louis. 'I'm Harry.' He replies shyly. 'Thanks.' Harry adds after a second thought. He doesn't say what for, but he's pretty sure Louis understands him perfectly.

'You can come sit in the car, you know. It's a lot warmer there.' Louis says climbing in behind the steering wheel. 'And I promise I won't bite.' 

Upon Hearing Louis' words, Harry goes to take the passenger seat, completely wrapped up in the cozy blanket Louis just gave to him.

They both just stay completely silent. They don't drive off or turn on the radio, They simply sit together in the car doing nothing. Harry doesn't really know what to do or say. He's hoping Louis will start talking again soon, mainly to hear his voice.

Louis does, as if he had just heard Harry's thought, start talking a couple of seconds later. 'Should I bring you home?' He asks, his look telling Harry he's not too sure if that's a good idea or not.

Harry, however, is one-hundred percent sure it's a horrible idea. 'NO!' He almost immediately shouts in reply. 'Please, Louis. Anywhere, take me anywhere except for there.' Harry had barely noticed he had started to shake at the thought of going home, until Louis places a much softer than expected hand on his leg. 

That's the moment Harry and Louis look straight into another's eyes. Harry is almost convinced Louis' eyes are the exact same color as the beach he has never been to. 

'Okay, okay. Not home.' Louis sums up. He moves his gaze away from Harry's eyes and instead stares straight ahead of him. 'Well, I was planning on going on a little road trip.' Louis says. 'Going to a few cities in England. A bit exploring and that kind of thing.' 

With a small nod, Harry signals to Louis that he's listening to him. Louis, however, seems to think about something really hard again. 

'How old are you, Harry?' Louis asks. 'Cause, I could bring you with me, but I don't want to accidentally take somebody underage with me and have the whole wide world think I have kidnapped you.' There is a pause of a few seconds, before it's Louis who speaks up again. 'I definitely won't let you leave this car without a destination though, Harry.' 

Harry nods in response, completely understanding what Louis is referring to. 'I've turned nineteen a couple of days ago, so I am definitely legal.' 

'That's great!' Louis exclaims upon hearing Harry's reply. 'So, you feel up for a bit of exploring with a crazy, annoying, selfish stranger?' Harry laughs softly, the first one in a very long time he realises, before he nods. 'Then lets go!' 

~~~~~~~~~~

The sunlight is surprisingly bright when Harry wakes up. It takes him a couple of moments to realize that, first of all he isn't death, second what happened last night and finally that he is sitting in a car next to Louis, who he actually know nothing about. 

He blinks a couple of times before he dares to turn his head to the side and sees Louis, who is already awake. 'Goodmorning.' Harry mumbles to show he is awake. 

Louis almost lets out a yelp in surprise upon hearing Harry's voice. He turns his head in Harry's direction for a split second. 'Oh, wow. Sorry.' He stammers. 'I believe I was in another world then. Good morning, Harry. You slept alright?' 

Harry only nods in response while he keeps is gaze to the road. He slowly realizes they are already driving. 'Ehm, Louis?' Harry asks after a period of silence. Louis looks at him for a second from the corner of his eye. 'Where are we going?' Harry asks, feeling a bit unsure about this situation.

'Oh right, I didn't explain.' Louis chuckles. 'I'm not kidnapping you or anything if you are thinking that. If you want we can go to any other place, I just thought I would start driving already.' He quickly explains. 'I thought we could go to Brighton, spend some time at the seaside. Then maybe drive to London or wherever you would want to go. I've simply always wanted to go to Brighton.' 

'I've never been there either.' Harry replies. He pauses for a moment. 'Actually, I have never been anywhere but Manchester.' 

'Really?' Louis asks, unbelief clear in his voice. 'Woah, I thought I had barely been anywhere.' He mumbles. 'If you hadn't noticed earlier by my accent, I am not originally from Manchester. I was born in Doncaster, Yorkshire. Been to a couple places in Yorkshire, a handful of times to London and a few too many times to Disneyland in Paris. Four sisters appear to demand a ridiculous amount of Disney. I've never complained though.' Louis smiles at the thought of his four younger sisters.

Harry takes a close look at Louis while he talks about his family and all the places he's been to. The whole time he spoke with a dreamy smile on his face, as if he was mentally walking through the various places he was talking about.

'I've been in about ever single place in Manchester?' Harry says, only it comes out as a question. Louis laughs a little as he shakes his head. 'No, seriously. The orphanage I used to live in didn't have the money to go anywhere and my foster-parents aren't to bothered to let us explore other places accept Manchester.' A part of him is surprised he just shared all of that with Louis, but another is seriously starting to trust him.

Louis looks at him for a long time, but doesn't comment on anything nor does he ask any questions about what Harry just told him. It relaxes Harry, not having to go into full detail about his past. He rather doesn't think about it anyways.

'Hey Harry, I saw a sign about a mile back saying there is a café close by. You feeling up for a short break and some lunch?' Louis speaks up after a while. 

Harry turns to look at him, with some doubt on his face. He's quite hungry if he's completely honest, but he doesn't have any money with him. 'Well if you want to stop go ahead, but I don't have any money for lunch.' Harry admits.

The only response he gets from Louis is him chuckling. 'It's my treat. Don't worry about the money, I wouldn't spend it if I didn't have it.' Harry opens his mouth to protest, but that's also the moment his stomach decides to make some inappropriate sounds, so instead Harry blushes and closes his mouth again. 'You are cute.' Louis says, which only makes Harry more embarrassed, though a little endeared if he's completely honest. 

So they do stop at the first little café they find, which was longer away than Louis had first thought. Harry vows to just get something to drink, not wanting to make Louis pay for everything, but Louis orders some food for him anyways.

'You can't live on nothing for the next couple of days. I swear Harry, money is not a problem for me.' Louis says again. 

'I still feel bad for making you pay for everything. There is nothing I have to give to you.' Harry mumbles in response just before their drink arrive. A pink-lemonade for Harry and a Yorkshire tea for Louis.

'You like sweet things?' Louis asks, with a curious look on his face as he eyes Harry's drink. 'I've always thought those were way too sugary.' 

Harry shrugs in response. 'I quite like strawberries.' He says before taking a sip. 'And it does taste like sugar, but I quite like it anyways.' 

Louis only nods, before taking a sip of his own drink. 'OW! That's clearly just made.' Louis says, sticking out his tongue, which Harry notices is turning more red than usual. 

They only make some small talk, getting to know a few of each other's favorites like music and food, before their food arrives. Louis had just ordered the same for me, so they both have quite a simple sandwich. It tastes delicious though, Harry notices after he took one bite.

'Hey Harry, do you have a girlfriend or something back home?' Louis asks once they are both about halfway through their sandwiches. 'Just curious.' He adds once Harry doesn't immediately replies

To say Harry is surprised by the question, would be a bit of an understatement. 'No I don't.' Harry admits in the end. He bites his lip for a moment, doubting it this is a good thing to say or not. He decides to go for it anyways. 'I don't really like girls that way, but I'm not in a relationship with anyone.' 

'So, you are gay?' Louis asks, to which Harry slowly nods. 'Me too. And I'm a single pringle too.' Harry can't help but chuckle a bit at the 'single pringle' part. 

If Harry is completely honest with himself, which he rarely is, he would say to himself that he could definitely see Louis as way more than a friend. In fact, Harry doesn't see Louis as a friend, but he could see them as something more. A thought that's terrifying Harry a lot.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

'I had a feeling I would find you up here.' It's the sound of a door closing behind Louis that actually startled Harry, who was completely lost in his own thoughts with his back towards the door.

'What?' Harry asks, confused and lost for a moment. 'I had said I'd get some fresh air, right?' He asks to be sure.

'Yeah, yeah. You did. Don't worry, I was just wondering how you were doing and where you were.' Louis reassures Harry, before he comes to sit next to him. 'The view is beautiful. Especially for such a cheap motel.' 

Harry nods in agreement. 'Yeah. I used to always watch the stars when the sky was as clear as tonight. It makes me feel calm.' 

Louis takes a short glance at Harry with a curious smile in his direction. 'You know the meaning of all the stars?' 

To this question Harry sadly shakes his head. 'I used to, but I forgot. I've done some semi-professional stargazing with a telescope and stuff at school, but that was about seven years ago and I haven't done anything with it ever again. Now I just like to see all the stars in general, sometimes I count them, but I always loose count after about thirty.' 

'I don't even try! I just tell myself there are to many to even try and count.' Louis says chuckling. 'In fact, we will never know how many there are, we can't see all of them.' 

'Very true.' Harry admits. 'It helps to make time pass a little faster sometimes though.' 

'Why would you want time to pass faster?' Louis can't help but ask Harry. 'There are only twenty-four hours in a day, they pass before you know it.' 

'Sometimes people expect too much from you during the day. While you are asleep you dont feel that pressure.' Harry clarifies himself. 'I don't always fall asleep that easily, so to pass some time I count the stars and try not to think about everyone and everything else.' 

Louis doesn't immediately knows how to reply to that. So instead he turns his gaze back to the small points of light in the other dark sky. He can understand why Harry finds it so fascinating.

A shiver runs over Harry's whole body and it doesn't go unnoticed by Louis. 'Are you cold? Maybe we should see if our room has heating or just crawl underneath some blankets.' Louis suggests, but for now he quickly removes his own jacket and places it carefully over Harry's shoulders. 

Harry looks like he is about to protest, but seems to think twice about it as he ends up just snuggling closer in the jacket. 'Thanks, Louis.' 

They just stay like that for an unlimited amount of time. That's until Louis feels Harry's head falling on his shoulder. Louis turns his head to take a look at Harry and notices he has fallen asleep. Louis couldn't help but smile at how peaceful he looked. Finally, he added to that thought. Harry had looked quite distressed before, in Louis' opinion.

In Louis mind, waking him up is not an option. So instead he makes it himself hard by picking the slightly taller boy up, while having to keep his head on Louis' shoulder and opening the door without putting him down. 

It's a challenge he succeeds in quick and before he know it, Louis has placed Harry carefully down on the bed. He has quickly noted that when he asked for a two-person room, he got one with a double bed. Okay, great. 

Louis doesn't have a problem with sleeping in the same bad and he's hoping Harry won't mind when he wakes up. Louis takes the guess. He quickly removes Harry's arms from around his neck, before he walks off to the small attached bathroom.

'Louis?' He suddenly hears a very sleepy voice, that definitely belongs to Harry, ask him. He turns around to see Harry's eyes half opened, but by the time he speaks up again, they are closed. 'Please don't leave me.' Harry says in a very vulnerably sounding voice.

A fond smile makes it's way to Louis' face as he walks back towards Harry and lays beside him. 'I won't, love, I promise.' 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As soon as they woke up, they hid the road again. They had quickly grabbed a few sandwiches for breakfast and maybe, if we had enough, for lunch.

Now Harry spots a sign next to the road that signals they are almost in Brighton. Only a couple more miles, while it's only four past midnight. 

'Looks like we will get their earlier than I thought.' Louis comments out loud. 'To be completely honest with you, I could have gotten their yesterday, I just don't like driving on the main road and on those smaller roads through all those villages there is a lot more to see.' 

'You choose a really beautiful road, Louis.' Harry compliments him. 'I really liked to see all those different villages. I didn't have a clue there were so many in that area, I thought it was more grass.' 

'To be honest, me too. I thought maybe a farm here and there next to the road, but it turned out to be absolutely packed with the tiniest of villages.' 

Harry doesn't say anything else as the pass a sign next to the road saying 'Welcome in Brighton'. Compared to their usual surroundings during most of the road, it becomes immediately about ten times as busy on the road when they pass the sign.

Soon enough, they reach the one place Louis wanted to visit the most which is the beach. 'The special thing about this beach as that the beach area is completely filled with stones instead of sand. I've never ever seen something like that, that's mainly why I wanted to go.' Louis tells Harry as they both get out of the car and walk down towards the real beach area. 

True to Louis words, if you find one grain of sand on this beach, it's a rarity. 'At least my shoes don't get three thousand kilos of sand in them here.' Harry comments jokingly. 

Louis laughs at his words. 'Always a benefit! Maybe all beaches should just be filled with stones instead of sand. Only then this place wouldn't be as special.' 

We keep walking over the beach. Louis takes a couple of artsy looking pictures on his phone and we take our shoes and socks, the last one only in my case, off to walk with our feet in the water. 

'Look, Harry, the sun is setting.' Louis exclaims pointing to the sun, that is indeed slowly setting. To Harry's complete surprise, he feels Louis' hand slowly slipping into his own. He don't make any move to pull my hand back, instead Harry intertwines his fingers with Louis' ones.

Harry and Louis share a look with another, send another a smile and continue walking super close to another with their hands intertwined. Neither one of them is thinking about letting go of the other one anytime soon. 

In the end, they keep walking until long after the sun has fully set and it has gotten really chilly outside. Neither of Harry and Louis seem to feel the cold air though, getting warm from being so close to another. 

They do turn around and walk back to the car, but they keep holding onto each other's hands the whole way. It's only once they reach the car that Louis sadly has to slip his hand out of Harry's grip.

'Shall we go for dinner? I've looked up some places that apparently do really good food. Especially dinner.' Louis says. 'I'm starving to be honest, not sure about you.' 

'Yeah I could get some food in my stomach as well.' Harry replies. 'You can choose one. I'll let myself be surprised, just like during the whole trip basically.' 

Harry actually surprised himself with the amount of confidence he has while speaking to Louis. He hadn't thought he would trust him so much this fast. It's a pleasant surprise, on he hopes is not a mistake, cause he feels completely at ease with Louis. 

Not much later, they park the car again and walk a short distant to an adorable looking restaurant. 'This was number one on the list I found.' Louis says as he opens the door and holds it open with a motion or me to walk in first. With a blush I do so. It almost feels like we are on a date.

They are immediately being led to a table by a waiter, who's name tag says Niall. They take a seat opposite another and both choose the surprise menu. 

'I usually don't like surprises.' Louis admits once he ordered and Niall has walked away. 'I'm too curious to let myself be surprised.' 

'I imagine they can be really nice, I've never had anyone surprise me.' Harry says, but thinks twice about it. 'Well, except you.' 

'What did I do to surprise you?' Louis asks bewildered. 'I haven't been trying to surprise you, if that is what you were thinking.' 

'Well ever since I met you, you've been doing surprising things to e every single day.' Harry comments. 'A surprise doesn't have to be a big thing.'

That where the conversation ends, cause our starters arrive. The main course is followed quickly behind, barely a minute to ask another how the food tasted before the next plate was shoved underneath our noses.

'For desert you can actually choose between two things.' Our waiter, Niall, says once he collected our plates. 'You can either have a coffee with two scoops of vanilla ice cream or a fresh made strawberry smoothie with some red fruit as a side. Which will it be for you two, gentlemen?' He asks with a clear Irish accent. It's sounds kind of weird cause he tries to speak so posh.

'Let me have a guess for you Harry.' Louis says with a grin on his face. 'The smoothie for him and the coffee for me, please.' 

'Am I really that predictable?' Harry asks in between chuckles. He does remember saying he likes strawberries, so it was a bit obvious.

'Will get here any second, enjoy your date gentlemen.' Niall says. Neither Louis or Harry corrects him, thought Harry can't help but feel his cheeks become hotter upon hearing those words.

Niall appears to be true to his words, only a couple minutes later their drinks and sides are being served. Both look delicious. 

Even though there came a straw with Harry's drink, he pick up the glass and takes a huge gulp to taste his drink. Louis chuckles as he studies Harry drinking his smoothie in an quite unique way in his opinion. 

When Harry puts his drink down again and lets a sound of appreciation leave his lips, Louis notices there is a thin layer of the smoothie painted on Harry's lips. 'Harry, can I try a bit of your drink?' Louis asks him.

'Yeah sure.' Harry immediately replies. 'I think it's one of the better smoothies I've had. I haven't had a lot of smoothies though.' 

Louis leans over the table and towards Harry's ear. 'I can see that. Your lips look very tasty too painted in strawberry smoothie.' He whispers, before leaning back slightly and looking Harry in the eye to see how he reacts to Louis' words.

Slowly, but surely, Louis leans forward and captures Harry's lips with his own. For a split second he feels Harry freeze underneath him, until his lips relax against his own and start to move. 

The kiss doesn't last to long, but it is definitely sweet. Harry's lips where extra soft, yet sticky, from the smoothie. 'You are right, love, the smoothie does taste delicious.'

Harry doesn't reply, he just smiles and think that maybe this is the happiest he has ever been in his whole nineteen years of existence.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They get another cheap motel, this time with a view of the beach. They end up sharing another bed, but no one is protesting. Harry and Louis haven't really established their current relationship, but the moved between them definitely shifted. 

The previous night was filled with a couple more lazy kisses in bed, just before they fell in love whilst laying in each other's embrace.

Right after breakfast they left the motel and went to another reason why Louis wanted to visit Brighton, the lanes. Harry had seen various pictures of the lanes in brochures, but he has to admit no picture can frame it's true beauty. They end up spending their whole day their.

'You know we checked out in that motel we stayed in last night.' Louis speaks up once they are both sad down in his car. 'I'm thinking we could do with a bit more comfort for the night. How do you feel about staying in a real hotel for the night?' 

'Louis, isn't that way too expensive for you?' Harry asks with a worried glance in Louis' direction. 

'Harry, wouldn't suggest something if it was impossible.' Louis says chuckling. 'I might not be the richest person in the world, I can afford a room for two in a hotel for a night. It doesn't have to be a five star one to be a hotel, you know.' 

So that's how they end up in a two star hotel, which miraculously has the worst view of all the places they stayed in, which is simply the hotel on the other side of the street.

Louis is currently down at the lobby, arranging a couple of things he said to Harry, whilst Harry is on the verge of a mental break down. 

Harry is the kind of person that wants nothing more but to please everybody, yet it seems like no one wants Harry to be any form of happy. These past three days have been the happiest of his whole life and he just can't seem to get over it. One thing he is sure about, though. He'll never get over it if he doesn't tell anybody.

That thought makes the first tear roll down Harry's cheek, because the only person that might listen to him, would be Louis. Sweet, wonderful and stunning Louis. Harry would have to burden him with his annoying insecurities and the always anxious feeling of letting the whole world down with every step he takes. 

The way Louis finds him later, has to be anything but attractive. By the time Louis comes back, Harry is full on crying and his breathing has become very uneven. He's trashing around in the bed and his eyes are squeezed shut tightly, while he keeps repeating 'Not good, no. Not good.' to no one in particular. 

Louis doesn't recognize the signs of a panic attack, but immediately realizes Harry is not being in his right state of mind and one of the things he has learn is to try to make someone relax and to not panic yourself, so Louis takes a calming breath before walking over to Harry.

'Harry, Harry, love look at me.' Louis says softly, taking a seat at the end of the bed. Harry doesn't respond, but stops saying 'not good, no.'. However he keeps shaking like a leaf and Louis can hear his breathing is still uneven. 'Can I hold you love?' Louis asks very carefully.

This time Louis does get a response, Harry looks up at him with tear shot eyes. He looks the most vulnerable Louis has ever seen him during their little road trip. Louis decides to not wait for any further response and just take Harry's body in his arms.

Louis makes sure to not have a tight embrace around him, to give him some space, yet also giving him some comfort. 

About twenty minutes later, Harry is much calmer. 'Thank you.' He whispers in Louis ear. 'I'm sorry you had to see me like that.' 

'No, no, Harry! Don't apologize for that!' Louis immediately reassures him. 'It's obviously not how you want anyone to see you, but it's better to sow your emotions than to keep them all locked up.' 

'I just don't want to burden you or anyone for that matter.' Harry mumbles. 'But I-' Harry sighs and doesn't finish his sentence.

'What is wrong, Harry?' Louis asks him carefully, whilst stroking through Harry's long, curly hair with one of his hands. 'You'd never be a burden to me.' 

'I want to tell you why.' Harry simply says, making eye-contact with Louis, who looks confused for a moment. 'Why you found me sitting on the side of the bridge ready to jump off.' 

Louis stays silent for a moment progressing what Harry just said. Of course he wanted to know what made Harry want to commit suicide so he can help Harry recover, but he doesn't want Harry to feel pressured to do this. 'You don't have to tell me if you don't feel comfortable sharing.' 

Harry almost immediately shakes his head in response to Louis' words. 'No, I do want to tell someone. I wouldn't want to put it all on you, but you are the one person I trust at this moment.'

A smile can't help itself but appear on Louis' face. He's flattered to know that Harry already trusts him, that he is willing to share such a thing with him.

'I'll just start at the moment simply everything went wrong. For me at least.' Harry starts after a short silence. 'The death of my parents.' 

A little shock goes through Louis' body. He did expect something like that to have happened to Harry, because he hinted before when he said he was adopted, but to hear the words come out of his mouth is a whole different matter. Nonetheless, Louis stay quiet and lets Harry continue his story.

'I had just turned eleven when it happened.' Harry starts quietly. 'My parents were both killed in a car-accident. They were both killed on the spot and I was told they were at a better place now, but couldn't quite come to me again.' 

'I was send off to an orphanage almost immediately. I was originally from Holmes Chapel, where my parents are buried, but straight after the funeral I was taken off to Manchester.' Harry continues. 'My time in the orphanage was fairly short and the only thing I really remember was crying every single day. Only three months after I was placed in the orphanage I was adopted by an elder couple, who couldn't make any more children. They adopted me and an eight-year-old girl.' 

'At first it seemed fine, they paid attention to us and their own son and daughter always played with us.' Harry's expression becomes sad as he thinks back about what happened next. 'Everything seemed to finally get a little better for me, until I went to high-school. It was a massive change for me, more classes, thousands of people in one place and very strict teachers and rules. Add still grieving from my parents' death to the list, I had a rough time.' 

'The children from the people that adopted me were both really well in school, always straight A's and lots of friends. At school I was known as the loner and no matter how much I studied, I only got C's and D's.' One single tear runs over Harry's cheek, but is quickly wiped away by Louis. 'No one understood why I found it so hard, but no one supported me anyways. Everybody around me just said I had to try harder and harder, until I had a break down almost every day.' 

'It was a huge accomplishment for me to pass my first two years in high-school. I had already given up, but faith had been on my side for once so I passed.' Harry explains. 'In my third year, everything went wrong again. The oldest son, who I was previously sharing a room with, became more aggressive and a couple times even violent towards me. Later I learned he was under the influence of alcohol a lot. At some point his parents found out and blamed me for his change of behavior, so they assigned me my own room, which basically only had enough room for a bed. I didn't mind, I had my own space.' 

'In the same year, I started having panic attacks. The smallest things could trigger them and nobody understood why. At some point I was send of to a doctor, who diagnosed me with an anxiety disorder as well as a social anxiety disorder. Everyone around me was informed, yet no one helped me deal with them. In fact, they only made them happen more frequently by putting more stress on my shoulders.'

'At the end of the year it was more than clear I wouldn't make it through this year.' Harry tells Louis. 'Everybody was extremely disappointed in me and easily made my life miserable by reminding me how worthless I am and how I seemed to do everything wrong. I got through the third and fourth year, a miracle again, but couldn't actually finish high-school as I failed my last year and was kicked out of school.' 

'That was almost two years ago now and everybody has been either ignoring me or yelling at me.' More tears are streaming down Harry's face and he gets chocked up as he finishes his story. 'And then I couldn't think of a single reason to live anymore. Nobody wanted me anyways, I was sick and tired of the constant anxiety running through my veins and I had no one to reach out to. I just didn't know why I still existed.' 

Louis had stayed completely silent whilst Harry was speaking, now Harry was done speaking, Louis tightened his grip around the boy's body. 'You are not worthless.' Louis speaks up. 'No matter what you are saying, you are not worthless.' 

Harry opens his mouth to protest, but Louis beats him to it and continues speaking himself.

'What you have been through is horrible. No one deserves to go through that. No one.' Louis starts. 'I'm not exactly surprised to hear you got anxiety after the amount of shit you got from those people around you. Losing someone you love is hard, let alone two at once. They didn't try to help, they didn't even give you any love, they just gave you stress.' 

'You helped me though.' Harry interrupts Louis. 'If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be able to tell you this story now nor would I have ever seen Brighton and I definitely wouldn't have fallen for the boy who saved my life.' Harry confesses. 

Harry, again, had opened his mouth to say something, but this time Louis interrupts him with his lips crashing down on Harry's own. For one moment Harry is perplexed, but soon he's kissing back with as much passion as Louis.

The kiss becomes heated only a couple minutes later. Both Harry and Louis are already shirtless. Harry has to push Louis away at some point to catch his breath. 'Can I show you how much love you deserve?' Louis asks looking straight into Harry's emerald eyes. Harry sees a mix of love and lust in Louis' eyes and he's quite sure his own gaze must look the same. Especially since he feels his cock getting harder with the way Louis is laying on top of him.

'Yeah.' Harry breaths out. 'I've never done anything like that before, though. I'll probably be rub-' Louis puts a finger to Harry's lips so Harry can't actually finish his sentence. 

'I don't care.' Louis states, before he leans down to kiss him shortly on the lips. 'You're perfect anyways.' 

There is not much spoken for the next few minutes, their mouths are busy doing other stuff. Louis and Harry are both supporting full hard-on's right now and they have both disgarded their trousers and are now just laying in their boxers. Louis laying on top.

'You look so beautiful like this, laying all spread out underneath me.' Louis whispers into Harry's ear before he bites down, receiving a moan from Harry.

Louis moves his hands lower towards Harry's boxers. Harry gulps once as Louis looks at him for permission. Through Harry's mind goes the thought of this being the first time he would ever display himself in front of anyone like this. His palms get sweaty, yet he gives Louis a nod.

Harry's cock springs free as soon as his boxers are removed. Louis look at it and licks his lips. He makes sure his eyes meet Harry's as he mouths the word 'Beautiful'.

Soon Louis boxers are off as well and Louis gets off the bed to check if there is a condom in the drawer of their bedside table. There is and he even finds lube. 'It is as if they knew what we were going to do here.' Louis smirks holding the items up for Harry to see. Louis climbs back on the bed and opens the small bottle of lube and spreads it over his fingers. 'Have you ever done this before?' Louis asks.

'Not much, but yeah a couple of times.' Harry admits, just before Louis trusts one lube-coated finger into Harry's hole. It stings a bit for Harry, but he soon gets used to it as Louis starts moving his finger.

Not long after he adds a second finger and a third. 'You good?' Louis asks Harry, who only moans in response. Louis takes that as a good sign.

Louis trust his fingers in and out of Harry a couple more times a bit rougher, but still making sure it's nothing but enjoyable for Harry. Once he is convinced Harry is opened up enough, he removes his fingers. Skillful-looking, Louis opens the package of the condom and rolls it on his still hard cock.

Louis makes sure to lube it all up to be sure it is barely painful. Louis knows out of experience that the first time hurts a lot if you aren't careful. 'Still want to continue?' Louis asks Harry one last time as he lines up his cock in front of Harry's hole.

'Yes.' Harry says, sounding a little breathless. Louis pushes in extremely slow, but he notices Harry's face shift in discomfort immediately. He gives Harry some time to get used to the feeling before he shoves his cock in further.

Harry is given another minute to get used to having a cock in his ass, before Louis slowly starts moving.

Because it's Harry's first time of anal-sex, he doesn't last too long and spills all over his belly in a matter of a couple slow and love-filled trusts. Louis holds only two trusts longer, before he too spills his come in the condom.

Louis collapses half on top of Harry's body and half next to him, his cock carefully being pulled out of Harry. Both of them are breathing heavily as they lay in another's arms.

'Louis.' Harry starts. 'I thought I would need an army of angels to stop me from killing myself. You must be made of an army of angels. Thank you for showing me what love is.' Their lips meet again. And it wont be the last time they will meet another.


End file.
